If you think back over the past week, what were the things that didn’t go according to plan, or that went wrong? Did you make mistakes, or perhaps uttered (or shouted) a few ill-chosen words? And the $64,000 question – how did those things make you feel?
The answer lies in how you feel about yourself generally. If you’re a confident person you’ll know that because you’re a human being the potential for making mistakes exists. It might not feel great at the time, but when mistakes happen you reflect on them and learn for the next time. And you’ll be growing in the process.
But what if you don’t feel positive about yourself? Expressions like ‘that’s typical of me’, ‘I always get it wrong’, or ‘I’m always putting my foot in it’ may strike a chord.
These are what we call global expressions that someone might use to describe themselves. They refer to what you assume will happen and are not to do with the isolated mistake. You may even have heard significant people in your life say the same sort of things to you – ‘that’s typical of you’, ‘you always get it wrong’, ‘you’re always putting your foot in it’. If people have said these things to you, the expressions can become what you believe about yourself.
However, your true self lies within. It needs the right conditions in which to grow, and not an atmosphere of negativity. It needs to feel valued and welcome, and not put down. It needs to be heard, and not ignored.
That, in essence, is what counselling provides.